This post was originally written in December, 2008 for my blog on the ActiveRain network, which is referenced within the piece along with several professionals I met through that platform. I enjoyed writing it, and while my colleagues within the real estate profession will commiserate (and hopefully chuckle) I hope you will catch a glimpse of the humor and pathos in which we Realtors® frequently find ourselves.
On the First day of Real Estate, my broker gave to me, a license to hang on the wall.
On the Second day of Real Estate, my sellers gave to me, 2 new listings(an overpriced re-sale and a foreclosure that needs some TLC) and a license to hang on the wall.
On the Third day of Real Estate, my website gave to me, 3 new buyers (1 a first-timer, 2: a tire kicker, 3: an investor looking for a “DEAL”), 2 new listings and a license to hang on the wall.
On the Fourth Day of Real Estate, my lender gave to me, 4 pre-approvals (The first timer can spend $75,000(great, I have a shack hanging on the side of a mountain with no indoor plumbing!), the tire-kicker can spend $400,000(now we’re talking), and the investor can spend 5 Million – with the approval of his 37 investment partners and everybody has to look at the property, they all want different info about the deal, and all have to coordinate to be at closing, and one for me “Gosh you should think about refinancing your home, rates are great!’), 3 new buyers, 2 new listings and a license to hang on the wall.
On the Fifth Day of Real Estate, my broker gave to me, 5 Past Due Bills! (1-Ad bill from glossy magazine I got no calls from, 2-quarterly E&O Insurance, 3-MLS susbscription payment, 4-license renewal, 5-franchise fee)…but wait, I haven’t had a closing yet…honey??? I mean, love of my life??? I’m going to need a little cash at work???…4 pre-approvals, 3 new buyers, 2 new listings and a license to hang on the wall.
On the Sixth Day of Real Estate, I had an Open House, and 6 neighbors came, looked at the house, told me how their’s were better, nicer, newer and ate all my food….5 past due bills, 4 pre-approvals, 3 new buyers, 2 new listings and a license to hang on the wall…
On the Seventh Day of Real Estate, I showed 7 houses to my tire-kicker…but hey, he can spend $400,000! 6 hours, 2 counties, 154 miles later, we saw 3 nice houses, but the feng shui didn’t work, 2 fixer-uppers, 1 with decor from 1974, and 1 that he really liked, but it was listed for $300,000 and he really doesn’t want to spend that much…huh?…6 nosy neighbors, 5 past due bills, 4 pre-approvals, 3 new buyers, 2 new listings and a license to hang on the wall…
On the Eighth Day of Real Estate, my fellow agents give to me, 8 offers on my foreclosure. (None are full price, 1 wants to close in 10 days- I can’t even get my rep at the bank to call me back that quick, 1 wants every inspection contingency under the sun, 1 can’t close till they sell their old house, 3 want to use a loan program that is now defunct???, and 2 will not consider signing the as-is addendum…umm, what???)…7 house showings, 6 nosy neighbors, 5 past due bills, 4 pre-approvals, 3 new buyers, 2 crappy listings and a license to hang on the wall…
On the Ninth Day of Real Estate, my doctor gives to me, 9 recommendations for my health: 1. Cut down on your stress; 2. quit smoking (wait a sec, that’s how I cut down on my stress), 3. Lose weight (yeah, I hear you, I hardly ever eat…a few chicken nuggets here and there, what’s the problem???); 4. Get more exercise (Doc, you should see the running around I do, not to mention up and down stairs, climbing into attics, under crawlspaces, walking vacant lots, measuring rooms – I get PLENTY of exercise; 5. For your back pain, stop crouching over your computer…um, yeah, okayyyy; 6. Get more sleep (ok, tell people to quit calling me until 11 at night); 7. Lower your blood pressure (HA! nuff said); 8. Take a vacation…doc, I need a closing to go on a vacation AFTER I pay my past due bills; 9. oh crap, I can’t remember what the ninth piece of advice was…8 awful offers, 7 house showings, 6 nosy neighbors, 5 past due bills, 4 pre-approvals, 3 new buyers, 2 crappy listings, and a license to hang on the wall…
On the Tenth Day of Real Estate, Active Rain reminded me, just make 10 comments for my points for the day! Oh, this is an easy one! 10 comments, no problem! Wait…I’m up to 13, now 19, here’s a great post on SEO…let me follow all these links to free widgets, cool, look at all the neat things I have on my blog now. Oops, got a message from Chris Ann. Need to respond to her. Oh man, things are hot in Club Chaos…lots of interesting things there to talk about. And Inna has posted – I love her writing, gotta comment on that. Tap on the shoulder, hey Amy, its 5 o’clock…are you going to lock up the office?…9 health advisories, 8 awful offers, 7 house showings, 6 nosy neighbors, 5 past due bills, 4 pre-approvals, 3 new buyers, 2 crappy listings and a license to hang on the wall…
On the Eleventh Day of Real Estate, I made 11 phone calls: 4 to past clients asking for referrals, 2 to current clients for transaction updates, 5 to fellow agents with questions on their listings (had to leave messages for 4 of them, they are “unavailable at this time,” and 1 who was in the office, but did not have the info my investor wanted on his commercial listing (silly things, like: P & L statements for 2 years, zoning restrictions, rent rolls…unimportant info really…)…10 AR Comments, 9 health advisories, 8 awful offers, 7 house showings, 6 nosy neighbors, 5 past due bills, 4 pre-approvals, 3 new buyers, 2 crappy listings, and a license to hang on the wall…
On the Twelfth Day of Real Estate, the Attorney gave to me, a $12 check for my efforts in closing the latest short sale. That was what was left after the Asset Management Company paid as much as they could for and to everyone else before paying me to sell their damn listing, but hey! I got both sides of the deal!!!…
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night! Ho Ho Ho!